With a thrilling season of The Bachelorette around the corner, you may be looking for a Bachelorette Bracket Cheat Sheet–a guide to the names and faces that will appear on Michelle’s season. With increasing diversity, we’re no longer subjected to the exact same parade of blond-haired, square-jawed men who look identical to the untrained eye. Still, I’ve grown to rely on this seasonal cheat sheet to help me remember who’s who when I fill out my bracket.
As always, here is a PDF 8.5×11 version of the bracket, featuring all the handsome gentlemen we know to expect on Michelle’s season, along with a small section for note taking.
There are no frills here, no fancy graphic design. This is a down and dirty cheat sheet for people who get real with their Bachelorette brackets and may or may not also be face blind. This is also 100% spoiler free. If you heard on the internet that some former Bachelor franchise star will be showing up and attempting to walk on… well, it will probably happen. Because that seems to happen. But I’m spoiler free, so I have not heard about it yet. Thus, Nick or Blake or Chad will not make an appearance on this cheat sheet. (But oh man, I am now mentally stuck on the dream of watching Michelle turn Chad away.)
The bios are their standard blah bios. Chris G is the first one that stands out. His motivational speaker career gave me some bad Karl vibes, but I enjoyed the fun fact that his cats are named Cat and Small Cat. Such originality intrigues me.
We also found out that burnt pizza makes Chris S mad, so hopefully he’ll be able to bond with the pizzapreneur.
There are actually a few interesting food facts. The person who throws up at the sight of onions? The guy who LOVES pickles (OK, me too, but is it a fun fact?)? Another guy “loves snacks”? The guy who likes Edible Arrangements? The guy who eats a whole watermelon every morning… Why are all the fun facts about food?
As expected, the bios give us almost nothing to work with other than a vague feeling that maybe none of these men actually have a personality. I’d love to know which fun facts they would choose for themselves, because I’m sure “doesn’t like tofu” isn’t the fact they find most defining about themselves.
Alas, perhaps we’ll find out this season. Or we’ll see more fascinating producer manipulation. Either way, I’ll have the cheat sheet to help me fill out my bracket.